I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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