You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
