So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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