You're so nebulous sometimes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
