i just had sex bonerless
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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