I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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