Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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