Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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