I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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