Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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