She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
