can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
