3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
