is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
