So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
