listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
