so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
