Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
