Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
someone threw a dead crab at me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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