I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
