a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A bitchslap is in order.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
