doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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