I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
