Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
