It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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