It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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