We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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