It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
PANTIES FOUND
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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