I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i would punch a child for taco bell
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
