U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
