his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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