I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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