Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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