Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
