why didn't you poke me back
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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