her vagine was all disorganized.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
