she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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