i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize