WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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