i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
