Ambien. No doubt about it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize