I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
