I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
