If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
