okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
