fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
