Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize