Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
someone threw a dead crab at me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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