Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
