scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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