I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would fuck him just for his dog
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I did not marry a roomba.
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