I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
