At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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