You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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