I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
