I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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