Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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