i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
