holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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