Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize