I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
