I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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