somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just cropdusted the office
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
