you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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