You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
