My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize